I had grown up hearing the song. 

Marvelous grace of our loving Lord,
Grace that exceeds our sin and our guilt!
Yonder on Calvary’s mount outpoured,
There where the blood of the Lamb was spilled.

Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that is greater than all our sin.

I’d thought a lot of God’s grace.  What exactly does it mean.  Well Merriam Webster defines it as “1 a: unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification”

But I want to share with you how I’ve experienced God’s grace during my Daddy’s illness and death.  Daddy was always working… anyone will tell you that he was a hard worker!  But he made it a point to be at family get-togethers – holidays, cookouts, the kids’ birthdays (he shared his with Savannah – June 10th).  By the grace of God, we all (Momma, me, Scott & Brent) got to spend time with Daddy in the hospital.  And not just an hour here and there.  We spent entire days with him… talking to him and helping to take care of him. 

I keep hearing that the pain eases as time goes on, but for now it’s fresh.  I had some of the hardest days that I’ve ever had in my lifetime last week.  On Tuesday we met with the pulmonologist and he was not very hopeful.  He told us that if Daddy continued to progress (downhill) as he was going, he would not make it more than 2 weeks.  It was such a sad day.  I headed home that afternoon to pick my kids up.  I was SO sad.  At this point I wasn’t really sure what to pray for.  I’d been praying that my Daddy would get well, but he was in a lot of pain the weekend before.  And I realized just how mean this disease really is.  The doctor had explained to us that many times when people are diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis, they may live a couple more years but they slowly suffocate as it becomes harder and harder to breathe.  My Daddy would never have wanted that.  I began to pray that God would take him quickly and painlessly.

I got a call from Scott just before 7 pm on Tuesday afternoon and he said we should get back to the hospital.  The doctors thought it was best.  We made it back in less than an hour.  By the grace of God there was very little traffic on the Natchez Trace and we didn’t see any deer.  (I’d seen as many as 35 deer at night when traveling home from the hospital.)  We got to the hospital and Daddy was pretty much the same…  The ventilator was breathing for him.  I was so sad.  We spent the night in Tupelo and the next morning when I went in to visit, he just didn’t look good.  It was soon after that when the doctor told Momma they’d try to get him in a room so all of the family could be with him.  

At about 4:30 pm on Wednesday, April 22nd, my Daddy went home with Jesus.  He never took a breath on his own.  I know that he was ready.  I find peace in the fact that he walks with Jesus now without pain and without suffering.  God’s grace…

June 10, 1953 – April 22, 2009

For all my clients, please don’t think I’ve forgotten about you.  I will get back to work slowly this week.  I will work on the Webster Care images, orders and all other sessions.  If you’d like to see sample storyboards or collages, just send me an e-mail and I will get to them as soon as I can.  Thank you all for your kindness and support during this very sad time for our family!

My Daddy has been in the Tupelo CCU and then Pulmonary ICU and then back to CCU for 29 days total.  In the grand scheme of things, 29 days isn’t very long.  But when a loved one is sick, it’s an eternity.  Hopefully we will have answers this week.  I forget what I’ve mentioned before, but yesterday he had a lung biopsy and a filter inserted.  The filter was put in place below his kidneys in order to keep the blood clots in his legs from moving to his heart or lungs.  There weren’t able to do the lung biopsy with the scope and camera because his lungs weren’t strong enough.  He’s still on a respirator and unable to talk and will be for today at least.  The surgeon removed 3 tissue samples and they were sent to the mayo clinic.  We hope to have the results in a few days.  The doctors have said all along that it’s pneumonia.  But I always believed there was more going on. 

He started out on 100% oxygen through a high pressure mask and graduated down to an open face mask (66% oxygen) that was much easier to deal with.  Well, now he’s on the respirator and we hope to get back to the high pressure mask today.  And eventurally step back down to the open face.  It feels a little bit like going backwards again, but we’re hopeful that we’ll have answers and a new treatment plan this week and he can work towards getting better and going home.  Thank you all so much for your prayers, support and understanding.  It really has meant SO much to me!   I promise to keep you updated and post sessions very soon!!! 

 A favorite scripture of mine…
“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”   Hebrews 11:1